Eastern University Lacrosse

Dear Loyal Readers,

(Before I start take a deep breath and see if you can read the whole thing while holding your breath)

Sorry for the lack of posts within the last few weeks, but I would like to start this blog out by telling you that part of the reason that nothing has been written recently, is because I have done absolutely nothing with my life the past few weeks.  I sleep, work, sleep, class, sleep, sit around, sleep etc… Needless to say it may sound like I’m very busy, but considering I only have two classes this semester and work maybe 20 hours a week, that means I have approximately 142.5 hours a week to do whatever I want and I have been filling that time with sleep and being worthless.  So the other day I decided to retire from my “waste of a life” living style and decided I was actually going to start doing stuff.

One thing that has been on my mind heavily due to the fact that I will be graduating in just 6,480,000 seconds, I decided I need to get my future career figured out. To do this I went to my academic advisor to ask if he knew of any opportunities that I might be able to take advantage of.  As I mentioned before, for about the last 22 ½ years I have been quite the slacker.  This explains why when I talk to my advisor he always asks what year I am (the only reason he knows my name is because I emailed to see when he would be in).  This isn’t to say that the advisors here are bad; it’s just another case of me not taking initiative and going to him for anything other than having him sign my drop a class sheet.   Anyhow, he told me about a career fair that was to be taking place down at Villanova.  I decided to be the most go getter person in the world and drive the 2 miles to the career fair to try and find someone who maybe would consider if there was only two people left in the world look at me for a job opening.

So I met with this lady that recognized me from my Eastern Lacrosse shirt (hind sight being 20/20, maybe I shouldn’t have worn sweat pants and a t-shirt to a job fair, but the fitted Red Sox hat may have added a hint of professionalism).  So I started talking to this lady about how to start looking for a job.  Fist thing she asked me was “do you have your resume handy?” This is the first point in the conversation where I felt about as intelligent as a pizza crust.  I told her I didn’t have one and she kind of gave me this look that pretty much said to me I was hopeless.  But never the less I pushed on.   She then went on to talk to me and ask a few questions about career goals and shortly followed each answer of mine explaining why that was an impossibility.  Pretty much the whole night I felt like one of those early round American Idol contestants who think they are good and when Simon Cowell they start crying and run off swearing and telling them how good they actually are (All of this was the case for me except the swearing).   As I left the job fair the worst part was this deep feeling in my stomach that makes me think that the lady at the job fair was only telling me how terrible everything I did was just so she could blog about how she shot down some stupid college kid today.  Now that I think about it, maybe she wasn’t even part of the college fair.  I think I may have gotten punked.

So now, instead of getting started with trying to find a job, I have decided that I am going to come up with some more job possibilities that I can start telling people at job fairs just so I’m the one making myself look like an idiot instead of having someone else do it to me.  Hopefully someday I will meet up with little miss “you should have started working for an internship in the Christmas break of second grade, then maybe you would have a chance to get a job somewhere” and take away all the joy she got from making me look like an idiot.

Before I share my ideas for careers, I would like to say the only reason these jobs seem ridiculous to me is because I don’t have the mental capacity to do any of these, if you do and decide this is your career path more power to you, I am not mocking you right now.  The first job I wanted to tell her was to be a Sherpa on Mt. Everest.  I want to lead journeys to the world’s highest point and become a nature expert.  I was assuming if I said that to this lady she would tell me I didn’t have a proper internship for that and needed more work experience.  Second I wanted to tell her I was going to be president of the NCAA.  This may not seem like a ridiculous job to some, but if you have ever been around me when I’m watching a college sports I always explain how I would make the NCAA a better organization and throw out my suggestions.  No one ever listens to what I have to say due to the fact that it has no importance so I figure if I became president I may actually get listened to.  Just ask Mike Hofmeister about some of my changes to the NCAA.  (On a sad note, I have been saying this for probably a year now and this past week the NCAA president died so I really am not trying to make fun of that situation I really was planning on saying this before that happened.) Lastly I wanted to tell her that I wanted to be a professional filibuster.   For those none Political Science Savvy readers, a filibuster occurs when a bill is to be voted on, and if a side is completely opposed to the bill being passed they start talking aimlessly until the other side gets so sick of waiting for the vote to occur, they decide to give up entirely.  As most of you have probably figured out, I can ramble on about random nonsense for as long as needed.  Right now the longest filibuster in history is 24 hours and 18 minutes by Strom Thurman; my goal is to shatter his record.

I tell you this again not to mock any of these goals, but I intend not to tell any “career fair ladies” what my real life objectives are in order not to be shot down at the age of 22.  Another career path that I have decided I might want to take up needs help from my loyal followers.  I have decided that in order to take this blog to the next step, there needs to be a little more marketing for this blog to get more people to read.  That is why I have been researching the possibility of a “Boring whistle” clothing line (and by clothing line I mean one t-shirt).  That is right, I am trying to sell t-shirts so everyone who loyally reads this blog can show how awesome they are by wearing a t-shirt that let’s others know what the future hottest website in the world is.  If you are interested, please leave a comment.  If I can get 20 people to actually do this, there is a price cut when ordering 20 or more shirts so it will bring the price down.  If there isn’t 20 people who want them then this probably won’t happen because come on, who wants to pay a lot for a stupid amateur bloggers t-shirt.

Another thing I wanted to tell everyone is since I really don’t do anything exciting, I am opening up my blog to something of a mail bag approach.  If you email me a question or topic I would love to honor the best ones in the blog.  This causes great danger to me however because I know I’m going to get about 80 emails/facebook messages a day saying “Sharbs you suck” and will serve as not helpful for the blog (I probably would do the same thing to someone else so I won’t be upset). But please try to keep it to a minimum.

Feel free to e-mail questions, comments, and concerns to boringwhistle@gmail.com . There will be college interns working around the clock to select the best questions and comments for future blogs.

Also a few birthday shout outs from the last few weeks: Amy Hofmeister, Bethany Sharbaugh, and Jimmy Clausen.

This blog must see video is a tribute to David Robinson who was inducted into the Basketball hall of fame.  “The Admiral” was inducted along with my boy John Stockton (my boy from Gonzaga), Jerry Sloan and some guy who makes shoes I think (his name was Mike Jordan?) yeah I’d never heard of him either.  ENJOY THE ADMIRAL!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FInsapjeY_M

Please take not on the pink and teal stripes on the Spurs old warm up uniforms….BEAST!